Day 1: Mary’s Song

Being blessed is a blessing.

Tonight was the third anticipated Simbang Gabi I’ve attended. (I missed the first four ones, mainly because of University matters, such as Christmas Parties and Lantern Parades.) It was about blessings.

Father’s words boomed back and forth in the chapel as I sat and felt wretched. I remember his monologue: “Nakuha mo na ba Christmas bonus mo?” “Wala na.” And the crowd laughed at the reality of his self-answered question. He pointed out that people immediately see the negative side of things, instead of paying attention to the positive flipside.

That hit me, because I’m exactly that kind of person who’d see the negativities first (or actually, just the negativities themselves). I’m a normally pessimistic person, and before, it rarely bothered me.

Because before, life was easier.

Yes, life was easier. It didn’t make much difference if all I saw was negative, for things continued unaffected by my clouded judgment. Now, though, my pessimism is taking its toll.

Pessimism is a barrier, a self-destructive, encumbering agent.

We can never succeed in life if we ourselves tamper the success we are aiming for with negativities (e.g. “I can’t do it”; “No, that’s not even possible”). In other words, say “yes” and let go of “no”.

Because we are blessed.

To paraphrase Father’s point in his homily: “Count your blessings.

Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed by a seemingly-infinite list of blessings? Impossible? Of course, it’s not! We can be as encompassing as the vast stretch of night sky; we can include the blessings of our loved ones as blessings of our own. Again, as Father said (Note: His lines are non-verbatim), “Feel blessed, and be a blessing to the rest.”

So, I will end this blog entry by basking in the sheer delight of creating a “Noticeable Blessings As of the Moment List”:

  • I am alive (!)
  • I am in love (!)
  • I am being loved and valued and appreciated (!)
  • I am given the opportunity of sharing this to the world
  • I was with my beloved nonbiological family, AOM0910, earlier today
  • My family is ass-kicking awesome and safe and adored and loved and cared for
  • Dad arrived well at his destination
  • My relatives are tucked in safely in their respective homes
  • I am seeing light (literally and figuratively)
  • Better-than-best friendship (!)
  • Physiological Needs are being met
  • I have a semester waiting for my awesomeness
  • Wisdom and knowledge, of the world, that I currently possess
  • Today is Kamille’s seventeenth and Keisha’s eighteenth!
  • I know I’ve faltered so many times, but thank God for this: Renewed Faith

Here’s to soul searching and optimism.

(Note: Day 1 is entitled Mary’s Song for the homily was based on Mama Mary’s Magnificat)

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