Missed the 24th of this month for it was a Merry Christmas Eve that dissolved quietly into 25, Christmas Day (Happy birthday, Lord Jesus Christ!). (Also because I watched Coraline Jones punch ass on HBO and gobbled for the extra pound/s, I decided to document the eventfulness later.) Due to such, I am going to consider 24 and 25 as Day 4, since I am usually alive and kicking during the wee hours of the morning.
And my Day 4 is about one of the greatest gifts to be of existence: love. (Special thanks to Lyndon Cruz for making me want to dive into myself and reflect on the subject.)
Yes, love. Many people love to love, combing the world for the “right” one, embarking on journeys of searching for that four-letter word. But what is it? What is love?
I have been asked billions of questions already and I must have answered half of them, correctly or incorrectly, but this one surely belongs to my Unanswerables (which includes mathematical questions). Yet, let me tell you this, just because “What is love?” has been filed under there doesn’t mean it is difficult. In this case, it means that love is too complex to be contained in a few sentences. It can be anything; it can be everything. I can only know love to an extent. Love is infinitely unlimited while I am horribly limited, like mortality.
But this is how I met love:
I was born out of naivety that was then seen as love. My early years were of being a spoiled brat, for during then narcissistic love reigned. I grew up and outgrew my narcissism, finally realizing that loving myself would never suffice, so my heart made room for others. Friendship occurred to me in marvelous ways, and I learned that love isn’t only for the opposite sex. I lost someone really dear to me; I watched as love filled in the gaping holes that were carved in by regret. Paving the road to my dreams required passion and love, that time when I was making big decisions (of course, even up to now it still does). Then I experienced serendipity, a moment so many people wish for, and as of now I still continue to swell in the love that it brings. Plus I found the other half of my soul, a best friend and a lifetime companion, out of all sorts of togetherness, unwavering connection in friendship and understanding in love.
After all this time, all the memories I’ve kept in my ever-nostalgic mind and all the people I’ve placed in my sentimental heart, there’s this something that’s been acting as the catalyst for everything to happen:
A myriad of hopes, dreams and wishful thinking that if ever it were contained, would result in something greater than the universe our universe is in;
An intangible ornament that can make simplicity seem highly elegant and beautifully complicated;
A plethora of all the pain that one is ready to endure in conviction of it being worthy of all the aches and blows;
A four-letter word that can never be accurately defined due to its broadness and great subjectivity.
Never say love is like anything; it isn’t.
To quote my better-than-best friend, Roi: “Well, who am I to define what love is? I am just a mere mortal, designed to feel love but never to know precisely what it truly is. For love is like the wind that can be felt by my very skin but can never be held by my mortal hands.”
(Author’s Note: The second statement contradicts the statement in bold, but I guess, the comparison is really a sincere attempt at sketching love. So, yeah.)
Love is something to be felt, but not to be explained. It is a phenomenon that eventually progresses into phenomena. It is a gazillion-worth of words, yet it remains inexplicable.
Love simply is.
I don’t know how I know I’m in love. I just feel. It extends deep into my marrow, into every living cell comprised in my being, into the deepest recesses of my heart and plunges toward my layers of consciousness.
Mostly, love remains inexplicable in words because it is more comprehending in actions. Like being awake on 3am to take pictures of oneself in order to paste it beside a picture of that special someone, or composing a song to express how one feels and inserting puns in allusion to the beloved, or being witty and funny in order to make that one person laugh, or just simply staying distant yet always being there for that loved one.
As long as the happiness of the person being loved is upheld, the happiness of the person in love is lifted too.
Despite all the great expectations lovers place upon each other, the unconditionality of love remains; sometimes faltering but it is never fully erased.
Truly, love is one of the best pamasko one can ever receive.
Epilogue; I am forever awed by Your love for us mankind, even leaving Your own Godly throne in order to bring us our salvation. Your story is one of selflessness that rarely ever happens on this planet; your love is one that transcends science and faith, beyond God and mankind. I do know my love will never be enough in return, but I will give all that I am capable of. Thank You very much for making love possible in this world. Happy birthday, Jesus!
& Merriest Christmas, reader!