It is true that I wrote on my Resolutions 2012: Write regularly. But so far, I don’t think I am fulfilling that at all. So, here I am, writing. In the middle of the flurry of school and emotional works. In between things.
Here, in the middle of the chaos, I am finding some kind of twisted peace. Like I’m in the eye of the storm. Everything is in a hushed quiet, a breath being held back. Portents of the inevitable. My life is at a standstill, but an expecting one at that. That moment right before you dislodge yourself from safety and jump into a sea of risk.
Time has a way of sneaking up on you when you’re least expecting it to. Now I’m on my way to my third year in college, and things are getting pretty serious. It’s like getting steady with a boyfriend (except I don’t really know how that’s like). Reality, from time to time, is showing its true colors and the palettes don’t seem to be my type at all.
But I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.
Meanwhile, I’m stuck with my growing pile of unread books and stained coffee cups drank in the most ridiculous of hours, my schoolwork growing cobwebs by the corner and my writing rusting as I think of words that won’t come.
It will be okay. Tomorrow, I’m going to grab one of those books and read and buy more to add to the mountain of stories. I’m going to drink more milk instead of coffee. I’m going to devote more time to things that matter, and yes, schoolwork belongs to that category. I’m going to write, and wait for the words, no matter how long it would take them. If not tomorrow, then maybe the day after tomorrow.
In between things, I find my peace. But I belong to beginnings and endings, too.